NY's Funniest Rabbi

Shabbat Shalom World

2012-01-27T16:43:00.000-05:00

4:01 PM - This is when I'm starting this post. Cooking is kinda-sorta done. Trying to clean and prep lekavod Shabbos and the world.

I feel like I haven't shared here in a while - some random shares:

Apple does bad stuff in China. There's a well reviewed play that focuses on this. The writer and star feels that the show must go on.

I have a soft spot for people who entertained and make me laugh, particularly when I was a youngster. RIP Robert Hegyes. (Obit.)

Candle lighting is at 4:48 for me, according to My Zmanim.

Here's one of the issues in the news that there's buzz about.

Since I was a kid I've been interested in movies. A lot of people are reacting to the Oscar nominations, including the nominees. The predictions have begun.

I took this test recently, was new to me. It's cool to do the option of rating yourself while also answering for someone else.

A bunch of these things (most or maybe all) I'm linking to are things I've had open and am now closing out and sharing before deleting. Done.

Soon Shabbos. Preparing, cleaning is not so pleasant for me, but Shabbos is and she is worth the effort of maintenance.

Soon Shabbos, my dear Shabbos. Lifting me up for forty nine years.

Shabbat Shalom world

I write, try to feel these words

Wait to sing her song

Check In and Haiku

2012-01-27T14:16:00.000-05:00

2:11 PM - Friday is my favorite time to post. Though I'm not sure why I ever write right here.

Just came back from doctor and shopping. Having at least two guests for Shabbos meals.

Doctor says boiling water burn on my hand is nothing to worry about. Likewise regarding The Cold That Wouldn't Leave. Thank G-d.

People often ask
What is it about haiku?
I think I can't say.

The Reading Mother (Click For Author Bio)

2012-01-26T11:55:00.000-05:00

By Strickland Gillian

I had a mother who read to me
Sagas of pirates who scoured the sea.
Cutlasses clenched in their yellow teeth;
"Blackbirds" stowed in the hold beneath.
I had a Mother who read me lays
Of ancient and gallant and golden days;
Stories of Marmion and Ivanhoe,
Which every boy has a right to know.
I had a Mother who read me tales
Of Gelert the hound of the hills of Wales,
True to his trust till his tragic death,
Faithfulness lent with his final breath.
I had a Mother who read me the things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings-
Stories that stir with an upward touch.
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be --
I had a Mother who read to me.

Haiku by Yakov Azriel -

2012-01-24T23:59:00.002-05:00

I just recently discovered this poet. I was waiting to transcribe all 13 of his haiku about the children of Ya'akov Avinu, but it's slow going. So here's part. I like the work I've seen of his. These are from the start of his poetry book on Shmot. In the past poets have seemed to be fine, even pleased with my posting their work; if this author or any other prefers I don't sing their praise/share their ware they can let me know.

Reuben
The purple mandrake
That blossoms among the wheat,
Hidden and ashamed.

Simeon
A yellow daisy
That cannot decide to be
A flower or a weed.

Levi
From his tree's resin,
the fragrance of frankincense
Will fill the Temple.

Judah
Blushing in remorse,
A vine's grapes can repent too
and regally reign.

Dan
A tree by a stream
That generously bequeaths
Ripe pomegranates

Naphtali
A small fig tree grows,
Unobserved by the many
But loved by the few

Va'Eira

2012-01-21T12:59:00.051-05:00

Shabbat left, as always - more or less. Like and unlike everyone she leaves and stays at once.

And the week with the aura of Parshat Va'Eira lingers, but is mostly gone for a year.

I read the full essay of the Slonimer Rebbe in his Darchei Noam. Without peeking. Let's see what stayed with me. He develops the meaning of the four geulot: vehotzeiti, vehitzalti, vega'alti,velakachti, (and he touches on veheiveiti too) He says that the Jews were, at first, in Egypt physically. But spiritually they were elsewhere, in a good way. Then they became physically and spiritually stuck in Mitzrayim. And they needed to be saved. They needed to be saved because their eyes had seen things and bought into them and that's what got them stuck. Hashem had promised Moshe that He would save the Jews from Egypt. That meant that He would save them from the effects of what their eyes had seen. But Moshe asked again, for a different kind of saving. What can get burnt by what they see/experience and need a special saving from the effects of that scorching? One can get scorched and become dried out by following the desires of their heart and eyes, till they have no zest left, so that their davening or mitzvah doing or learning doesn't spark start them. This is what Hashem means when He says that in addition to removing them from the effects of what they've seen, He would also save them from the strong numbing damage they suffered from. Then Hashem promises a geulah; which means a soul elevation. Velakachti is a language of betrothal, connoting becoming G-d's bride. The bride and groom ideally reside in the holiest of lands.

This is my take. Any mistakes are mine. Any accidental/on purpose editing is also mine. Any forgetting, or being impressed by points that others might find peripheral, while neglecting to mention something that someone else might read and say - that was everything is what it is. We all need to learn things for our selves. I certainly recommend learning this sefer and truly making it yours.

Shabbat Shalom World.

2012-01-20T16:44:00.004-05:00

Last night I shared my ladder story. I had not recalled this till I started blogging and since it came back into my consciousness I've often thought of it as an apt example of my essence. (A search of slide ladder brings up these posts.) As I last told the tale it dawned on me that it was more revealing than I'd previously realized. When I was 6 years old and in first grade I was afraid to climb the ladder up the playground slide. It seemed steep and the fall would have been onto pavement. I was scared. I liked going down the slide. I felt comfortable getting to the top of the slide the same way I went down it - on the slide itself. The slide was gradual and of one piece, and that made it less daunting - for me. The one tricky part was that when I got to the top I had to twist around and perch before sliding down; but it was the only way - for me. I was not - consciously - trying to seek attention, quite the opposite. I was simply doing what made sense to me, my own thing, with no thought of how it would look to others. I wasn't thinking of others and didn't want them entering my picture. I had used this slide technique before and it worked. And it didn't bother anyone and no-one bothered me about it. This time, though, the teacher scolded me, and - if I remember correctly - threatened me big time; she said she'd tell my mother. She was sure that I was being a wisenheimer. I was shocked when she disciplined me. I was being me the only way I knew how. Flash forward to now, haiku author, stand up comedian, writer of a blog for seven years, Facebook poster of updates that others may see as unusual. At this point I thought I'd bring it all together but I have run out of things to say other than this: I am who I am and it is what it is.

I'm in the basement of the home I grew up in. Shabbos is a few minutes away. Candle lighting here is at 4:39, according to myzmanim. Plag HaMincha is late these days, which is helpful if you want to daven Mincha early so you can properly do Ma'ariv early.

I am with cold.

I started learning Darchei Noam on the parsha, that's the present Yerushalayim Slonimer Rebbe. I hope to write it up at some point. He discusses the four phrases of redemption and why it says vehitzalti as that one was already promised to Moshe (I believe at the sneh). He explains the geulah as having a spiritual and a physical component. One point he makes is that major problems begin with what we allow our eyes to see (lo taturu).

I'm in the middle of reading several books. Holy Beggars is amazing. I love books in which someone cuts their insides open and shows you. The Reading Promise, is supposedly the story of a father reading to his daughter for thousands of nights in a row. But the chapters aren't so much about the reading as being snapshots of their lives. Still, it's a quirky and good read. I'm really enjoying I Watch, Therefore I Am. It's philosophy explained with TV examples. It's a sweet read.

I miss Jane Kenyon, though I never knew her. Her husband, Donald Hall, has never done it for me the way her poems did. Still, his essay in The New Yorker is intriguing. Maybe I'll finish it. "I am eighty-three, I teeter when I walk, I no longer drive, I look out the window." Poetic. Beautiful.

Shabbos is tiptoeing our way. She doesn't want to disturb, but she knows its time for attention to be turned her way. She is so polite, has been since I've known her. I look forward to spending time with Shabbos. And to sharing Shabbos with my dad.

Shabbat Shalom World.

HOTD 2

2012-01-20T13:43:00.003-05:00

You can "friend" Facebook
Makes you wonder about things
Facebook: friend or fiend?

HOTD 1

2012-01-20T12:00:00.003-05:00

There's no left or right
there is only where we stand
and how we view things

The Fourfold Song

2012-01-19T22:38:00.000-05:00

By Rabbi Avraham Yitzchak HaKohein Kook

There is a person who sings the song of his soul. He finds everything, his complete spiritual satisfaction, within his soul.

There is a person who sings the song of the nation. He steps forward from his private soul, which he finds narrow and uncivilized. He yearns for the heights. He clings with a sensitive love to the entirety of the Jewish nation and sings its song. He shares in its pains, is joyful in its hopes, speaks with exalted and pure thoughts regarding its past and its future, investigates its inner spiritual nature with love and a wise heart.

There is a person whose soul is so broad that it expands beyond the border of Israel. It sings the song of humanity. This soul constantly grows broader with the exalted totality of humanity and its glorious image. He yearns for humanity's general enlightenment. He looks forward to its supernal perfection. From this source of life, he draws all of his thoughts and insights, his ideals and visions.

And there is a person who rises even higher until he unites with all existence, with all creatures, and with all worlds. And with all of them, he sings. This is the person who, engaged in the Chapter of Song every day, is assured that he is a child of the World-to-Come.

And there is a person who rises with all these songs together in one ensemble so that they all give forth their voices, they all sing their songs sweetly, each supplies its fellow with fullness and life: the voice of happiness and joy, the voice of rejoicing and tunefulness, the voice of merriment and the voice of holiness.

The song of the soul, the song of the nation, the song of humanity, the song of the world-they all mix together with this person at every moment and at all times.

And this simplicity in its fullness rises to become a song of holiness, the song of God, the song that is simple, doubled, tripled, quadrupled, the song of songs of Solomon-of the king who is characterized by completeness and peace.

Orot Hakodesh II, p. 444

HOTD2

2012-01-19T17:07:00.002-05:00

G-d bless the single
people alone and lonely
married ones also

HOTD 1

2012-01-19T09:09:00.003-05:00

Your misperception

affects me if I let it

Why would I allow?

HOTD 9

2012-01-18T23:50:00.002-05:00

A blossoming cold:
Chicken soup, melt-away cake
make it feel better

HOTD 7

2012-01-18T23:04:00.002-05:00

"THAT was a good one,"
makes comedians wonder,
and aslo poets.

HOTD 6

2012-01-18T22:44:00.003-05:00

Only on Facebook
can you like without "like"-ing
and not like, but "like"

HOTD 5

2012-01-18T22:14:00.002-05:00

H.A.L.T. is dangerous:
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, with
Tired underneath

HOTD 4

2012-01-18T22:06:00.002-05:00

What can you hurry?
Neither love nor life nor this
The simple haiku

HOTD 3

2012-01-18T21:46:00.001-05:00

Man must be father
to the child inside him
as he makes choices

HOTD 2

2012-01-18T19:49:00.004-05:00

Honor trauma, wounds
But don't become worshipful
Acknowledge, let go

HOTD

2012-01-18T17:34:00.000-05:00

Sitting at his screen

Distracted by hallway noise

He nurses a cold

Great Advice Regarding Thinking Before Speaking

2012-01-17T18:44:00.000-05:00

As Bon Iver Plays On Radio

2012-01-17T16:19:00.005-05:00

I prefer not to mention Facebook in this space. (Although a search reveals that I have referenced that site in several posts.) I post on Facebook at a rate that most people would refer to as often. I do that because I have more tangible evidence of life on Facebook than on my blog. There, there is give and take. There are conversations - like there once were here. I try to write that without sighing in a feeling sorry for self way. It is what it is.

I like writing here - to some extent. The one way mirror phenomenon bothers me, much as it always has.

Why blog?

A dear friend and blog reader has said that my blog has a self selected audience. It's not a phrase I use or am sure I understand, still - it sounds right. I am grateful to G-d for the friends that I have in life, and in particular for those who read me.
In our last speech class of the year (with this semester's group) a student prepared and presented a poem. He introduced it, and from his description I happily guessed that it was this:

i thank You God for most this amazing
By e.e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Another student said that the poem she was about to read was "a persuasive poem." Yes. I will include it at the end of this post.

Another student gave a persuasive speech about the importance of friendship. A great choice and a well done presentation. The number of confidants people have in America is declining rapidly according to her research.

I will miss this exceptional group. Together we created a positive and memorable space/class.

I hope no-one minds too much if I say this: I love my work. My workplace is a major part of my life-community and life. My teaching and counseling are major parts of my meaning and fulfilment in life.

I am about to leave the building for Winter Break. I will miss coming here. I thank G-d for this beautiful blessing in my life.

And now, for now, I leave you with Ruthie's tree poem.

I AM A TREE

By Laleta Davis-Mattis

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are many things that I can see
I look above
I look below
So may things that I can show
I see the birds flying high in the skies
Making circles like huge mud pies
And at nights where do they go
On my branches both high and low.

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are many things that I can see
I see the snails,
Going oh so slow
Up my trunk , it is their bunk
Then there’s the butterfly
Fluttering through my branches
It feels so good,
It makes me do the crunches

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
I see the factories billowing out smoke
I see the child ready to choke
I see the garbage flowing down the stream
Oh if you could see
It would make you scream
I see the fisherman with the tiny fish
Oops that can never male a delicious dish.

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
I see the man, the woman, the boy the girl
I see that the world is in a swirl
I see them , and I see you
Oh I beg, what can you do?
I see the man coming with the saw
To cut me down,
Against that there is no law.

I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
I want to live to tell the tale
Of things happening from mountain to vale
I am a tree
A tall tall tree
There are so many things that I can see
Save the trees, save the earth
We are the guardians of nature’s birth.

HOTD - Inspired By My First Period 10S Class

2012-01-16T09:48:00.000-05:00

Days hum by like songs
Looked back at they're never long
Here for now then gone

Fresh Poetry! Caught In The Bloodstream This Morning!

2012-01-15T23:34:00.001-05:00

Sarcasm is a temptress. She is a member of the Victim-hood family, of the Cambridge Victim-hoods. Perhaps you've encountered her sisters Anger and Cynicism.

I will say it straight out. I wish that poetry was more red and appreciated, more main stream. I wish my poetry was ditto ditto ditto. I wish there were more signs of readers of this blog. In particular, I'd love feed-back and even support of the poems. I want to put out a book of some of my many long poems, but that'll take a few shekels. And I foresee it as a project that will include the assistance of fans of me and/or my work.
Anyway, without any further ado (even if you want more ado) (hat tip to Robert Klein), here's a poem I just wrote:

Hot Off The Self
By Neil Fleischmann
January 15, 2012

I’m determined to write a poem

And to share it with you

My determination might be better served

Toward (other?) things I have to do

And yet, and yet, and yet, and yet

My soul commands me, “Write.”

And who am I to say she’s wrong

As she is G-d’s candle light?

And now you may be wondering

Must a poem be cliché’/rhyme filled?

And I myself am wondering

Does rhyme indicate skill?

And what about her?

and what about him?

And what about the morals

of Wilhelm Karl Grimm?

And what does it mean

when you don’t name a name?

If you hurt someone, is a thank you

a thank you, just the same?

And how accessible

must poetry be?

Is rhyming a red herring?

Must I genogram my tree?

At once I am commited

to ending this piece

I have to go and push aside

My fears of the secret police.

Of Late I Think of Polka Dots

2012-01-15T21:37:00.002-05:00

Purple With White Dots - 2012

2012-01-15T13:55:00.000-05:00

"That's Me In The Corner"

2012-01-15T11:26:00.006-05:00

I just chanced upon this post. I was surprised that I didn't answer the questions of lavender garden and anonymous straight up. The photo was an erev Yom Kippur photo op for a tiny local paper. They asked if someone could bring in a kittel and my mother was there when they asked, so I got the gig. That's how my mom recalled it. I had thought that I was simply chosen. Also, the girl, Debbie Flaum, and I were close at the time. Ah, Kindergarten.

"C'mon Get Happy"

2012-01-14T23:59:00.000-05:00

I am starting this post now, at 11:48 - when will it end? Some time tonight/this morning. I'm waxing nostalgic in several ways. The good old days, not sure when they were, but I miss them.

About a month ago I gave a scholar in residence talk about happiness. Beforehand I searched my apartment for Dennis Prager's Happiness Is A Serious Problem. I couldn't find it, so I referenced it from memory and also used an online article by Prager about how happiness is a moral obligation on an individual and global scale. I also used two books by Rabbi Abraham Twerski - one that he wrote for Artscroll/Mesorah called Simcha - It's Not Just Happiness, and another that he did for Jewish Lights called Happiness and the Human Spirit. It went pretty well - was a difficult gig because I was booked as guest speaker and there was also a shloshim siyum for someone from the shul who'd passed away. I think it went well. The family seemed pleased. A friend of mine, who is a long time mechanech, told me that Prager regularly addresses happiness on his radio show and emphasizes his belief that happiness is a moral obligation. I found the book, and read some of it over Shabbos (friends of mine and their children were once staying overt at my place and one of the kids tried to count my books and gave up when she got to 2000). It was clearly min hashamayim that I didn't find it before the talk because I think using more from this book wouldn't have been as good a fit as the content I went with.

Prager writes, "There are some clear rules to happiness. One is that you cannot be happy if your primary identity is that of a victim, even if you really are one." He states several reasons why victim-hood precludes happiness. Here's his explanation - adapted by me - for why people who identify themselves as victims can't be happy. People who see themselves as victims don't take control of their lives because they don't see it as an option. They feel that life happens to them not by them. So they're not going to do what they need to to make themselves happy. Part of victim-hood is to feel that life is unfair and to enjoy being an unhappy and "picked on" soul. Another part of the victim syndrome is to be perpetually angry "and an angry disposition makes happiness impossible." Enjoying life and being happy will mean letting go of the choice to view oneself as a victim and people who are committed to feeling victimized are in that place because they gain something from it (or think they do) that they don't want to let go of.

Twenty Questions on Sefer Shmot

2012-01-14T17:52:00.001-05:00

Who’s the first adopted person described in the Torah?
How many times are the words makah or makot used in regard to the plagues.
What are the explanations of Rashi and Ramban for why the Jews cried when the king died? (credit for each)
Give an educational reason stated in the Torah as the point of the makot. (3 answers, credit for each)
What word, which is used regarding the creation of the world, is used about Moshe when he is born?
What are the explanations of Rashi and Ramban for what Pharoh meant when he said he was afraid that the Jews would leave Mitrayim?
What synonym for multiplying, according to Seforno, teaches us that the Jews fell to a low level in Mitzrayim?
Prove that Moshe cared about justice and peace for all people.
When is a kal vechomer used in Sefer Shmot?
What is absent from the story told in Perek Bet of Shmot?
What are the two ways to translate meyaldot ha’ivriyot?
What does the Abarbanel say is the meaning of the names Shifra and Puah?
Which of the makot did not have warnings? (Give the numbers)
Give an example from Sefer Shmot where the more someone tries to stop something, the more it happens. (Not The Makot) (LILA USE PIC HERE)
From what holiday do we learn that you should learn about a holiday 30 days before it arrives?
What are the explanations of Rambam and Ramban of how to reconcile Pharoh having free will with the fact that Hashem hardened his heart? (credit for each)
“Vayehi beshalach…” – According to Chazal what mood does the word vayehi indicate? How could that fit here? (credit for each)
What 2 makot are comprised of the same letters as each orher?
What 3 parts of the Mishkan are comprised of the same letters as each other?
Which makah was started by an easterly wind and ended by a westerly wind?

Erev Shabbos

2012-01-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

1:12 PM - Ten years ago no longer seems like a long time to me. When I was ten it did. Yesterday I told a colleague that I recalled when he painted his face the four colors of the four grade teams of Shiriyah. "That was a long time ago, Neil," he said to me. It was ten, maybe twelve years ago. I remember my parents thinking that I made a smart comment, one time, when I was a kid - probably about seven years old. They asked me if a certain relative was old and I said, "It depends who you put them next to." On a different but, in my soul, related note - whether or not ten years is a long time depends on who you ask.

3:06 PM - I'm cooking for Shabbos and for Shabbos guests - and for me. I like cooking and I don't like cleaning. I recall years ago reading a writer's comment (I wrote about it in this post, and got a kick from looking at this post from the good old days of the J-blogosphere. What a wide ranging post and eclectic array of comments!) that she had laundry strewn about her home and it was a worthy price to pay for being a successful, published author. I don't know. I think what ever we are in life, we have to - to some extent - strengthen the muscles of the weaker parts, of the things we are not. I tend to say I'll cook and not clean, but life is about cooking and cleaning up while you cook. We need to multitask and we need to balance pursuing the things that come naturally to us while strengthening those things that don't come easily to us.

3:50 PM - Time to finish up the food prep - the cooking and the cleaning. Mi shetarch be'erev Shabbos yochal beShabbos.

4:15 PM - Closer yet.

Here are some links to my previous posts on Shemot. And one more that came up when I searched Shmot.

My dad, he should live and be well, just expressed concern about me getting run down. He knows me.

I do have the starts of a cold, the usual reaction to a week of extra push, pull, wear and tear.

Shabbos is coming, so are other guests, all of whom bring me joy and comfort. One thing most of us agree on is that we don't want to be alone. Perhaps that's what's behind the story of the Medrash that tells us that Shabbos complained that it had no pairing like the other six week-days. G-d said that Shabbos' partner would be the Jewish people. And Bialek said that more that the Jews have kept Shabbos, Shabbos has kept the Jews. I look forward to Shabbos, always. I would yearn for her from anywhere, and I do. Soon Shabbos, and the rest.

Frisch Sophomore Shiriyah Video 2012

2012-01-12T23:58:00.000-05:00

10 Questions On Sefer Shmot (8/10 adapted from Torah Teasers By Rabbi Moshe Erlbaum, based on the approach of Rabbi Moshe Atik) (Answers are in first comment)

2012-01-12T23:16:00.004-05:00

1. Who is called a kohein in Parshat Shmot?
2. Where is snow mentioned in Parshat Shmot?
3.Where is a hotel mentioned in Parshat Shmot?
4. State two places in Sefer Shmot where straw is mentioned.
5. Who was married to a bird?
6. In Parshat Va’Eirah, what is referred to as a morasha?
7. During what makah, other than Choshech, does the land of Egypt become dark?
8. Name two things in Sefer Shmot that happened through a ruach kadim.(separate credit for each)
9. From what holiday do we learn that you should start asking about a holiday 30 days before the holiday?
10. Name two places in Sefer Shmot that a dog/kelev is mentioned.

Shemot - Short Vort

2012-01-12T16:15:00.003-05:00

This morning Rabbi Asher Bush, my longtime, esteemed colleague at The Frisch School, addressed the senior minyan and shared this meaningful thought:

According to the pshat, Shifra and Puah were regular folk that we never heard of before and will never hear of again in the Torah. They feared G-d, stood up to Pharoh, did what was right despite hard times and high risk. A lesson we can learn from this incident is that inspirational courage can come and often must come from decent, non-famous people. Part of the reason the redemption arrived - soon after the story of Shifra and Puah - was the conviction and principle found in the heart of the "simple," "regular" Jew.

2012-01-12T06:38:00.003-05:00

‎"Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail." - John Donne

In Memory of Ruth Stone

2012-01-11T20:01:00.000-05:00

So What
By Ruth Stone

For me the great truths are laced with hysteria.
How many Einsteins can we tolerate?
I leap into the uncertainty principle.
After so many smears, you want to wash it off with a laugh.
Ha ha, you say. So what if it's a meltdown?
Last lines to poems I will write immediately.

HOTD

2012-01-11T15:59:00.000-05:00

Air like life blessings

Consistently bestowed

Taken for granted

Three Days of My Bloggary

2012-01-08T23:59:00.004-05:00

Friday January 6, 2012

10:27 AM - I'm in my office, free-writing for a few minutes...

The sophomores have Shiriyah (Color War) practice, so I'm off duty - to the extent such a concept exists in reality.

Neil Diamond's "Don't Go There" is playing on Pandora. It's funny - not ha ha - that this just came on.The last time I heard this song was early this past Sunday morning, on my Ipod, as I walked Ocean City's shore and found it fascinating that Diamond was singing the unique, prescient sounding, words that he was crooning. It's a cool song, worth a listen - in any case.

Shiriyah broke out this morning. I'm adviser for Juniors. In past years I've performed at the event (8 times) and run Torah bowl (12 times?). Juniors are meeting in a few minutes, I need to be there. It's 10:34. It's amazing how i can write quickly and smoothly because I love writing.

I write like I breathe

I sit here as it happens

Blood breathes onto page

323 PM - "Slip Slidin' Away" - the (live) version with Garfunkel - plays from my ear-buds, while I sit as a guest in the (nicely finished) basement. And I remember my week. Sigh. I think the idea that "you near your destination the more you're slip slidin' away" is a profound one. While we feel the pain of struggle, we are, hopefully, moving toward where we want to be.

This week I wrapped up the makkot in Chumash. And taught more of the sugyah in Pesachim about birchat hamtzvot. We discussed brachot in general. I shared Piercey's poem about what she does and does not consider a blessing. And I shared my response.

Motzai Shabbos January 7, 2012

6:07 PM - Shabbos is gone. Why she had to go, I don't know.

It was unreasonably warm today.

There is no kigo
to include in this haiku;
Winter, sixty-four

I have always enjoyed Rabbi Yaakov Lehrfield's Shabbos morning shiur. Here's my adaptation of what I remember him saying this morning about Parshat VaYechi:

1 - When Ephraim and Menashe come to Ya'akov to be blessed, he asks, "Mi Eileh?" - "Who are they?" Rav Zalman Soratzkin, in his Oznaim LaTorah, says that Yaakov thought twice at this pivotal moment. It's one thing to be a good person, good son, good grandson - but to be in a prominent is a different reality. Yaakov wanted to be certain before transforming his grandchildren into the ultimate model of the blessing that every father wants his son to be that they were fit for this position.

2 - The word "leimor" - "saying" is used when Yaakov blesses Ephraim and Mesashe. In this case the word contains a letter that it does not usually have; it is spelled in full, with a vav between the mem and the reish. This may symbolize the fact that, despite his original hesitancy, once Yaakov decided to bless them he did so with a full heart. This can be backed up by the fact that the word emor is used, and includes a rare vav between the mem and the reish, when the kohanim are commanded to bless the Jewish people. Rashi explains that the extra vav indicates that the blessing the kohanim give is meant to be wholehearted.

3. Why did Yosef die at 110, younger than all the brothers? Rashi says because he was in a position of ruler-ship. This could be understood as a punishment for acting to others in a condescending way. It could also simply be that a consequence of being a political leader is vast amounts of stress that can lead to dying young. The Torah states that Yosef lived to 110 and then says that he died at 110. This fact is clearly being emphasized. In each case, the trup - musical notes indicating how the words are to be read - are zakeif katon, which means the small (young) one was raised up high!

11:30 PM - That's the actual time right now, though it sounds too round and perfect to be true. For the rest of tonight maybe we'll just keep it all under this heading.

Tonight I saw Ryan Hamilton, Andy Hendrickson and Mark Riccodonna. Mark's one rule as emcee is that the audience should give laughter to help the comedians give their best.

There are things in life that I watch and say, "I could never do that." Stand up comedy is one of those cases where the opposite is true. Tonight, as I enjoyed these 3 talented performers I sat and thought, "I can do that."

Here's a clip of Andy doing a routine he expaned on tonight, adding "Mom it's not a machine or a tape, it's a cell phone with a computer chip - you just filled up a whole computer mom."

It's 12:23 AM, technically Sunday, but still Saturday night to me.

I believe in growth, working on oneself, always trying to make oneself better. It's hard work. Another thing I see and think as I watch comedians is how everyone really wants to grow and change. Comedians are about honesty, oddly - as was the case at certain moments in tonight's show - honesty often trumps funny in a routine, because they can't help themselves.

I remember my eleventh grade Chemistry teacher, Mr. Peller, was the first person I ever heard say, "In all jest there is truth."

Sleep is calling me
I let the machine pick up

Write this one more thing

Sunday January 8, 2012

10:15 AM -

This classic routine of Nichols and May just came to mind, very similar to the bit I linked to above.

Getting ready to horse and buggy it out of Staten Island.

Need to get to school/work and coach the Junior grade to Shiriyah victory.

1:09 PM - Just entered my abode. I was thinking of writing that I crossed the finish line after horse and buggying it home (10:49-1:09, 2 hours and twenty minutes). It's not the finish line, after taking 2 buses and a train so far I have more travels ahead to get to work. I should be thrilled that I don't really use a horse and buggy, that would be much slower and schleppier (I imagine). That reminds me of a routine by one of last night's comedians. He wondered why people love to go back in history and do things like take buggy rides. If someone from olden times saw people paying today to ride a horse and carriage they'd probably say, "What's wrong with you? We've been trying to get rid of those things for years.

7:06 PM - Got on the road again at around 2, to work at 3, left around 6:15. Home again just now. Spent four and a half hours travelling today. I could be comfortably vacationing in New Hampshire by now.

The associate principal appreciated my being there for the school kids and ran late on his way home to his own little ones in order to take me to my door. There's nothing like kindness to make my day.

11:59 PM - I was so tired that I took one of those naps that I don't remember lying down for, only getting up from. I need to do usual work, and unusual. The day is short, the work is great...

Now, it's later than before, isn't it always? I won't reveal the time, but if I am to succeed in getting up by 6:30 and out by 7, I'd better go to sleep.

Here

with the grace of G-d

I am

There

but for His grace

I would have gone.

Two Thoughts on VaYechi

2012-01-05T16:02:00.002-05:00

Rav Chaim Schmuelvitz suggests that the name Yisrael connotes happiness while Yaakov reflects sadness. He says this is clear at the start of VaYechi: “And it came to pass after these things that someone said to Yoseph: 'Behold, your father is sick.' And he took with him his two sons, Menasheh and Ephraim. And someone informed Yaakov, and said: 'Behold, your son Yosef is coming to you.' And Yisrael strengthened himself, and sat upon the bed.” (There’s an interesting literary parallelism – first someone tells Yosef something about his father, then his father is told something about him. Wonder what the message is in that little piece of Torah poetry. I wonder who that person, in each case, was. Sometimes mysterious people are angels, and the lesson is about G-d’s will being made to come true.)
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First sad, then reinvigorated; Yaakov then Yisrael. This reminds me of an interview I saw in which Robert Klein was asked if he sees himself or someone else when he watches videos of his old performances. He said that he actually sees different people, not him as he knows himself now. We are all (hopefully) different people at different ages, in different moods, and during different times.

Yaakov was sometimes so sad that he was a different person. And yet he was always forefather and role model. Different states of mind are opportunities, not excuses. This is a difficult truth, true nonetheless. Wherever we're at and whoever we are at any moment we are expected to be our best, to do to our best to be close to G-d.

May we be so blessed.

------------------------------------------------

The following is transcribed from a piece on Vayechi by Rav Moshe Feinstein. It's in Darash Moshe, published by Artscroll/Mesorah.

"I shall be gathered to my people." - Breishit 49:29

It is unclear to whom Jacob was referring with the word "people." He could not have meant the Jewish people, since he himself was the first of them to die, and had he meant Abraham and Isaac he would have said, "I am about to be gathered to my fathers."

To understand what Jacob meant, I wish to suggest that even though a particular group may not be considered a distinct people in our world, in the world of truth a "people" is defined by the strength of its belief in Hashem and by the quantity and quality of merits accumulated through efforts in this world. Surely the tzadikim who had made themselves known in the world until that time, including Adam, Seth, Methuselah, Shem, Eber, and, of course, Abraham and Isaac, would constitute such a group.

This is what Jacob meant: "I shall be gathered to my people" - to the righteous ones who have a place together in the world of truth because they believed in Hashem, and therefore I wish to be buried with my fathers, Abraham and Isaac.

Asarah BeTeiveit

2012-01-05T15:36:00.001-05:00

Tragedies start small

while we still have time to change

Time to take the chance

The tenth of Tevet commemorates the beginning of the siege of Jerusalem. A year and a half later (on the seventeenth of Tamuz) the walls were penetrated. Three weeks after that (on the ninth of Av), the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed.

Asarah beTevet is unique among the fast days, in that it demarcates something that does not seem that horrible. One of the lessons of this day is that the beginning of a tragedy is also a tragedy. This can be compared to two short lines that each appear to be straight. However, one of them is very slightly curved, and so when you extend it the crookedness becomes more extreme, more noticeable.

There is a sad extension to this tragedy began a year and a half before it exploded and there was no return. The Jews had a year plus to contemplate their situation, reflect on their ways. They could have done teshuvah, but they didn't. That is also a part of what this day is about.

As the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch puts it (121:1), "The fasting is only a preparatory step intended to inspire repentance. Therefore, those people who, while fasting on these days, go on strolls and waste the day on idle matters, have grasped the secondary character of the day, but ignored its essence.

May Her Neshamah Have An Aliyah

2012-01-04T03:08:00.001-05:00

I am speechless, sleepless, less - on mom's second Yahrtzeit.

Haiku 3

2012-01-03T19:25:00.000-05:00

Less an illusion

Life is a grand allusion

There's got to be more

Haiku Too

2012-01-03T19:21:00.001-05:00

I feel minimized
Criticized inside your eyes
While I try to rise

Haiku of the Day

2012-01-03T15:20:00.001-05:00

Tests to take, to grade

Daily we judge and are judged

Life is a long test.

Short Poems By Frank Robinson

2012-01-02T09:47:00.001-05:00

Every morning in the half-light
the ghost of me slowly reappears

After all these years,
old age comes not as a prize
but as a test.

Dozing on the bus,
I completely missed the beautiful view again.

Such energy -
as if they had been waiting all their lives
to be eighty

Surrounded by flowers,
surrounded by people -
I should learn their names.

In a plane -
looking at the back of heads,
as interesting as the fronts.

Preparing for the test -
not realizing
the test has come and gone.

There is no courage without fear,
and no virtue without temptation.

The obit editor decides
which of us will have a famous death.

At some point
you become afraid not of dying
but surviving.

I haven't lived there in fifty years
and yet when you ask for my address...

So many birds
left their tracks on our walk,
I had to stop shoveling.

On the way back
our dog
studies her own footprints in the snow.

We know each other so well,
we know the length of the leash between us.

The deer
on their Fred Astaire legs
come dancing through the snow.

The clumsy frogs
jostle the reeds
as they swim
far below the surface.

On The Shore Haiku

2012-01-01T16:43:00.000-05:00

Unafraid, he flies

over water and through sky.

Is that bird thinking?

The Nothing Like A Bookend Haiku

2012-01-01T16:41:00.001-05:00

childhood moments

replay kindly inside me

as I see old friends

Haiku of This Morning

2012-01-01T16:19:00.000-05:00

On Pinnacle Road

Quiet New Year's morning

First minutes, first day

"...And You're Sitting On Top Of The World": A Haiku

2012-01-01T16:17:00.000-05:00

Low maintenance
Strong, delicate, beautiful
Waves are quite a catch

Responsibility Haiku

2012-01-01T16:12:00.000-05:00

Together, apart

Each thinking of our own needs

Rise up; rise above

Like David I Have My Song: A Haiku

2012-01-01T16:11:00.000-05:00

Like David we each
have our own personal song
Mizmor LePloni

Haiku of the Day

2011-12-30T10:18:00.001-05:00

G-d is in the air.

The air is inside of G-d.

Breathe. Breathe deeply. Breathe.

Vayigash: In The Sound of A Thin Silence

2011-12-29T23:58:00.009-05:00

By Rabbi Neil Fleischmann

In a famine, 10 brothers traverse a great distance for bread. After encountering Egypt's viceroy, who controls the food supply, everything spirals downward. Mishaps escalate into impending tragedy; they are arrested as spies, one brother is taken hostage, the youngest brother is accused of stealing, and that's just part of it. They wonder why this is happening as they ineffectively struggle to handle their situation.

When this powerful leader tells them who he is, "Ani Yosef" ("I am Joseph") their reality shifts, leaving them speechless. The Midrash Rabbah cryptically connects the brothers' reaction to Yosef's revelation with what each of us will experience when we meet our Maker (at age 120) saying, "Woe to us for the day of judgment, woe to us for the day of reproach." jj jjj
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Rabbi Bernard Weinberger in his work Shemen HaTov posits that the brothers were speechless for a powerful reason. They had never, even as children, recognized Yosef for who he really was. Long before his beard and position disguised his identity, Yosef was a mystery to his brothers. Unable to understand him, they reduced him to the one-dimensional. They decided he was a scoundrel, a threat, a daddy's boy, a potential murderer or worse, depending on the commentary. But who was Yosef?

The truth is that Yosef was a tzaddik. In fact, he was The Tzaddik. He is the paradigm of a tzaddik, our only ancestor that is always referenced with that title. The brothers didn't grasp Yosef's greatness for a long time. After the smoke cleared, after the years of anguish, in the moment of silence after Yosef revealed himself, they got it. This annoying younger brother of theirs was now the viceroy of Egypt and more so - he was clearly righteous and G-d fearing.

The Ohr HaChayim notes that twice in a row (Breishit 45:3 and 4) Yosef tells his siblings who he is. In the second instance he adds that he is "Yosef, the brother whom you sold to Egypt." The Ohr HaChayim suggests Yosef was telling them, "I am who I always was - your brother who loves you. Even when you were pushing me away, I was your brother who loved you. The Ohr HaChayim also points out that Yosef shared with them one of those secrets endemic to all families, a fact that only he and his siblings knew. Then, there in the silence, they heard.

The brothers broke through the only way of thinking to which they had attached their minds. Yosef's unveiling provided his brothers with an awareness of his wholeness of being. In the past they had only seen his outer layer, represented by his coat. They now experienced an awakening and saw the full tapestry of Yosef.

The brothers experienced the same kind of silence which followed the whirlwind of sound, action, and fire in which Eliyahu HaNavi could not find G-d. Finally, in the kol demamah dahkah - what Rabbi Jonathan Sachs translates as "the sound of a thin silence," Eliyahu hears G-d and understands. (Melachim I - 19:12)@@

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The Chafetz Chayim focuses on this paradigm shift that the brothers experienced, and says that it mirrors what will happen to each of us one day. When G-d reveals himself to us after we leave this physical world, we will view everything through a new perspective. This idea is in consonance with the illustration of the person who is presented with a gift of a gorgeous tapestry, or so he is told. But when he looks at the needlepoint picture he’s received he is confused because all he sees is loose ends and knots. The friend who gave him the gift tells him to turn it around. When he sees the breathtaking work of art on the other side, he realizes that he had been viewing the back, thus missing the beauty. The Torah tradition is that in this life we often only see part of the picture. This was the metaphorical message G-d presented Moshe with when he told him that he could view His back, but that in this life no man can see G-d head on.@@@@@@@@@

The Tribes of Israel traversed a variety of great distances. In a unique moment of silence, the brothers saw Yosef. One day we will reach an end of our journey and we will see G-d's glory. We will gain complete understanding in retrospect, in a silent moment, after the lively whirlwinds that seemed so real have passed.
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To the degree that it is possible now, may G-d bless us to find a quiet moment and in that silence experience the truth of G-d – “Ani Hashem.” Why wait?

VaYigash - Short Thought

2011-12-29T15:34:00.001-05:00

In Breishit 45:28 Yaakov says, ""Rav, od Yoseif beni chai." The general explanation (Rashi and others) of this is that Ya'akov is saying that he is very (rav) happy that Yosef is alive. The Tosefet Brachah questions this and suggests something that he hesitantly and humbly suggests may fit better with the text. In 45:26 the brothers tell Yaakov that "Yosef is still alive and he is ruler over all of Egypt." Yaakov's response is that he doesn't need Yosef to be king of Egypt, as it is more than enough for him simply that Yosef is alive!

Scenes From A Day

2011-12-27T23:54:00.003-05:00

I -

It's 6:26 A.M and I need to be out of the house in a few minutes. And yet. I wanted to write. I woke up thinking about children. My mother and father had/have two. Mom (OBM) used to tell one of her children that he wrote things in his blog that he shouldn't. I don't have children. I still hope and pray I will and I won't say more than that right here and now. Yesterday I spent some time with a dear childhood friend and his twenty year old son. The son made a comment about his own imperfections that struck me. Last night a friend of mine with a bunch of kids ranging from infant to 5, in a worn out mood, said that "people have kids because the species must continue, there is no logic to it." I don't agree and I don't think a rested her (if she could please G-d be blessed with some rest) agrees with her.

Besides everything

children are markers

something to hold

the years quickly fading

II -

1:44 PM. I am in the middle of a great chat with a student, a self-described "cynic/seeker.". He is a true intellectual and shared many profound thoughts and 2 wonderful quotes:

"It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste." - Henry Ford

"There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it." - Dale Carnegie

III -

8:30 PM - I'm soaked to the bone, just walked through my door. It took an hour and a half to get from work to a class Chanukah party a few miles away from the school. (Does it make more sense for a teacher to speak of coming and going from work or school? If you say school does it sound like you are in school?) Need to dry off and breathe.

Torrential rains fall

Last Chanukah candles burn

Floor heater buzzes

IV -

11:21 PM - Still recouping from being a rider of the storm. Papers lie at the foot of the heater. I dried up, ironically, after fulfilling the need to shower. Time to go to sleep. So many things to get done. Sleeping can be an act of faith, "letting go and letting G-d."

Love others like you

(The rest is commentary)

And not like you too

FYI - Haku

2011-12-27T11:37:00.000-05:00

Sometimes people ask
Sometimes their minds are elsewhere
Still, I share haiku

This Year's Memento From Quebec City

2011-12-25T10:15:00.000-05:00

I Wrote This Poem Upon Waking At 7:15, Dec.25, 2011

2011-12-25T07:42:00.002-05:00

We live for certain days, months, years

Enjoy our allotted words, laughs, tears

We can make ourselves look young

But when all is said and done

You're as old as you are

Even if you're a movie star

Haiku

2011-12-24T22:58:00.000-05:00

I sit, try to think;

What is there to say in life

That is worth saying?

How Do You Spell Chanukah?

2011-12-24T20:13:00.007-05:00

Here's a musical version by the LeeVees (featuring Adam Gardner of Guster), of this question.

Happy Chanukah!!!

LeeVees - How Do You Spell Channukkahh? from The LeeVees on Vimeo.

Haiku Post Proctoring Practice A.C.T.

2011-12-21T14:56:00.001-05:00

Shuffles and sniffles
We each try to pass the test
We struggle and guess

Helping Others to Stand Back Up

2011-12-21T06:42:00.004-05:00

Walking home from the bus terminal yesterday I was reading some of the Times. This front page story grabbed me.

Chanukah 5772: Thirty Six Points of Light

2011-12-20T23:21:00.011-05:00

By Rabbi Neil Fleischmann

1. Underneath it all is the light of truth. Chanukah represents that hidden light. You look at the light of Chanukah and don’t immediately think miracle. But it’s there. Chanukah is about revealing the hidden light.

2. Over Chanukah we light a total of thirty-six lights (8+7+6+5+4+3+2+1=36). Thirty-six lights represent the hidden light of truth.

3. Adam was in Paradise, where he merited the ohr haganuz-- hidden light, for thirty-six hours (12 on Friday + 24 of Shabbos).

4. Adam lost his outer covering when he was expelled from Gad Eden. The finger and toe nails we have are the remnant of that original covering. We look at the light and reflect it off our fingertips on Motzai Shabbos-Saturday night, the time when that light was lost.

5. We light one more candle each night of Chanukah representing the fact that our life purpose is to ever increase holiness and light in this world.

6. At havdallah we look at our nails, first, with our hands outstretched and then with our fingers curled towards us. First we see them all stretched out, in different sizes. Then we bring them close, look close, and see them evenly. At first things seem out of sorts but everything is more evenly balanced when you look again.

7. There are 36 hidden tzadikim-righteous people in this world.

8. The month in which Chanukah begins, Kisleiv, can be punctuated to read kas/lamedvav – the hidden 36.

9. There is always a celebration of Rosh Chodesh during Chanukah. It is a time of light and renewal.

10. On Rosh Chodesh the first sliver of the light of the moon reappears, after it seemed to have disappeared forever into the darkness.

11. We humans are like the moon; we fade and come back.

12. The first mitzvah presented to the Jewish People as a whole was the new moon, which serves as a metaphor of our historical destiny – to wane and flourish.

13. We specifically light the menorah at night, representing the light coming out of the darkness.

14. If lit in the doorway, the menorah is placed on the left side, representing the weaker side of us and the light that still shines and emanates from our souls.

15. “There is a light in the darkness of everybody’s life.” (pop culture song of the seventies, yearbook quote of my dear, late, friend – Scott Gordon)

16. Chanukah was established “lehodot u’lehalel”-to thank and praise. We sing G-d’s praise for salvation, but also thank Him for the dark times, without which the happy ending wouldn’t have been possible.

17. Dovid HaMelech – King David wrote that we speak of G-d’s kindness in the morning, when we see it and his faith in the night, when He believes in us, and we in Him, despite the darkness.

18. The day is the redemption and the night is the exile, which - we believe – is an intrinsic part of the redemption.

19. Via one reading, Dovid HaMelech’s words, “lehagid baboker chasdechah, ve’emunatchah baleilot” means, “to speak of your kindness in the morning and your faith in the night.”

20. G-d has faith in us in the night, is with us in our pain. During a time of assimilation and lost he saw out light still flickering and fanned the flame of salvation.

21. In the beginning of time, Adam saw the days getting shorter and thought that this was the death that was his punishment for disobeying G-d and that the world was reverting to darkness.

22. When Adam saw the days begin to get longer he set up an eight day holiday celebrating the way that G-d made the world; before the diminishing light disappears, the remaining spark grows and the days are again filled with light.

23. Al HaNissim speaks of the war victory. The Gemora defines Chanukah by describing the miracle of the oil.

24. The Maharal explains that the people didn’t see the three year war as miraculous. The miracle of the oil clearly was miraculous and reflected back on all that came before it as miraculous as well.

25. Dovid HaMelech writes “Aromimchah Hashem ki delitani - I will praise you G-d for you have lifted me up.” The word “delitani means to make like a deli - bucket which is lowered into the well empty to disappear. So too with us; we’re thankful for the entire process.

26. Mashiach was born on Tisha B’Av.

27. History is divided into three sections. I. Creation II. Torah III. Redemption. The period of redemption begins with the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash.

28. We live after the time of open miracles and prophecy. Yet, if we look we can see miracles every day.

29. The point of the big miracles, like the exodus from Egypt, is to remind us that everyday is a miracle.

30. Pure oil was found for one day. It lasted for eight. One approach to why we celebrate all eight days is that the oil was divided into eight parts and miraculously lasted the full day on each of the eight days.

31. Rav Dovid Feinstein suggests that the oil lasted naturally for one day and then miraculously for seven more. We celebrate the first day as a reminder that the fact that oil burns at all is a miracle.

32. The only difference between nature and miracle is how often they happen.

33. Rabi Chanina ben Dosa’s daughter set out vinegar instead of oil for Shabbos candles. Rabi Chanina said, “He who said that oil will burn will say that vinegar should burn.” He mentioned G-d’s saying that oil should burn as a reminder that oil burning is a miracle.

34. The mitzvah of Chanukah relates to the miracle of the oil, not the military victory. The war we won was only a means to freedom to practice the faith of our fathers, rededicate the Temple, and re-light the menorah.

35. When the Macabees found oil for one day, they used it all for that day, leaving the future to G-d, and they merited a Divine miracle. They lived with faith, as we should strive to do, one day at a time.

36. G-d “separates between holy and profane, light and dark, Israel and the nations.” There can be light or darkness, but not a mixture of the two. One must prevail.

Akiva's Second Haiku

2011-12-20T12:56:00.001-05:00

There's a golden haze

Bright on the flowing river

"Let it be,"says G-d

"This Isn't Jewish" "Um, Yes - it is."

2011-12-19T18:32:00.000-05:00

"If you are in search of spirituality, you have it.

If you believe you already have it, you have lost it."

- Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.

Do Unto Others, page 162

Judaism As A First Language, By Moshe Koppel

2011-12-19T10:56:00.001-05:00

I recommend reading this article.

5:10 A.M.

2011-12-19T06:10:00.002-05:00

I hear footsteps over my head

As I awaken to the darkness

5:10 A.M, my clock declares

And I begin listing my day:

Papers to grade, lessons to plan

No time to be poetry man

I lie in bed twenty minutes more

Then sit at the edge and write these words

I think I need to focus more on action

I complete this poem with satisfaction

Soon The Ten Hour Bus Ride

2011-12-18T09:31:00.006-05:00

I am writing from a foreign country. I am not sure why I write here or what it is that I should write. Blogger is not allowing me to edit this post, it seems to be stuck in html. As I type, Michele Bachmann is being interviewed on a Sunday morning show. I have never seen or heard her before, she comes across as awkward. She pauses long before answering questions and there seems to be continuous miscommunication between her and the interviewer.

We arrived in Quebec City on Thursday night and went bowling shortly thereafter. There was a limited number of lanes so staff sat it out. I asked a colleague to give me a topic and that I'd write a poem on whatever word he offered. His word was "mirrors." I will include the poem below.

As always, I wish everyone reading this well (and everyone not reading it too). Soon the ten hour bus ride will begin. Last night on the bus I did a full stand up show. Today I think the focus will be elsewhere. I expect a good amount of resting all around. For myself I hope to get some work done. Also I plan to keep plowing along in Holy Beggars, a well written, personal, touching tale.

Kemayim Panim El Panim

How often must you look at me?
What is it you expect to see?
I cannot take you very far
From whoever it is that you are

There is only G-d and only you
There is only so much I can do
Beauty is vain and charm is a lie
Desires can never be satisfied

Even as I sit affixed to your wall
There is nothing real about me at all
Beware: I present the reverse of what’s true
The image I display is not you

Shabbat Shalom

2011-12-16T15:14:00.002-05:00

I'm in Quebec City, Quebec on a school trip. So much to say but few words and tight time block me. I pray for Shabbos to be meaningful. I'm worn from the trip. And yet. I hope to speak about being honest, spiritual and real, and hope it takes. And I hope to keep the drush way on the side.

Tired, excited

Belonging, responsible

Friday on Freezefest

Are You My Esrog?

2011-12-14T10:47:00.003-05:00

A few minutes ago a colleague stopped me and another rabbi and shared an opinion of The Aruch HaShulchan. The approach is that we don't say a blessing thanking G-d for commanding us to do an action regarding mitzvot that are person to person because these are intuitive. This teacher's question was that this seemed "to fly in the face" with an idea that he has accepted as lore in the name of Rabbi Soloveichik. That approach is that even though certain mitzvot make sense to us we do them not because of our own logic, but because G-d said so.

The two of us that were asked the question had our interest piqued and had a lot to say about it. The colleague who asked the question needed to copy sheets, finish his lesson and run to class. Speaking of running to class, it's time for my next one. If you're interested in responses to my friend's question, let me know.

Hindu Kush, New York

2011-12-14T00:55:00.005-05:00

In an intermission from sleep

I count Marco Polo sheep

Find my way to this screen

See what wisdom I may glean

While it's dark and I'm alone

A situation not unknown

Why is it that I'm awake?

It's an emergency brake.

Wake up! My soul calls to me

My American angelica tree

Sleeplessness is my burning bush

My moment of Hindu Kush

I don't need to eat or drink

Thoughts bleed like indelible ink

I worry about wounded friends

Ponder the goodness we intend

Hope for the welfare of us all

Pray this isn't the last call

Akiva's Haiku

2011-12-13T13:38:00.001-05:00

They say a haiku

Has to be a certain length

But I don't care much

I'll do my own thing

Early Moring Haiku

2011-12-12T15:40:00.001-05:00

Youthful hall chatter

Sitting, cramming, confiding

The school day begins

Parent -Teacher Poem

2011-12-11T13:24:00.007-05:00

After 4 hours, I've seen parents of 43 kids.

But I can only write between meeting, so now it's four hours, and ten minutes and 45 kids.

Can I admit that I love this day? Maybe here. Maybe not to colleagues.

Do you ever wonder what's most important in life?

Every time I make someone feel good about their child/their self I am grateful.

Five hours, ten minutes, fifty two meetings.

Great news: For a Sunday I'm unusually up: I like the structure.

Humanity: (call me crazy, but I believe it's) crucial for humans to maintain.

Insecurity is a sometimes synonym for yetzer harah.

Just belonging can be enough to make you happy.

Knowing why you do what you is important: For what reason am I, is anyone, a teacher?

Let me tell you that grades given by teachers should not be the most important thing in life.

Much good can come out of cliche'd words said with original care,like, "How are you?"

"Nice" lost its meaning about forty years ago; we need to use "kind," "brave," genuine," and other specific adjectives as often as we can.

Other teachers, after six hours, just want to go home. I'm happy to be here.

People are people.

Questioning: I'm your biggest fan, but lately I question if we spend too much time together.

Right now it's 8:30 P.M, I'm home. The meetings that ended four hours ago still linger.

Seconds ago a kind student from the past called to suggest a kind woman for me to date.

Those "painted ponies..." - darn you Joni.

Unsure about so many things.

Viewpoint is key.

When?

X-ray vision is dangerous, in part because it is inaccurate.

Yesterday, today hovered, and now it's done, yet still hovering.

Zigzagging through the maze of life as best we can; we are humans.

Vayishlach: Gid Hanasheh In Light of Yaakov Avinu's Proclivity Toward Togetherness

2011-12-10T23:46:00.002-05:00

The general approach - presented in Sforno, Ramban, Rashbam - to the prohibition of gid hanesheh is that it is a way to recall the miraculous way in which Yaakov was saved by G-d and emerged victorious in his wrestling match with the angel of Eisav (the mysterious man he meets in a rare moment of solitude). You would expect that this happy event would be remembered through a celebratory meal of Thanksgiving rather than with a punitive prohibition against eating. The Chizkuni says that what we are commemorating here is the sad fact that Yaakov was alone, separated from his eleven children. The lesson is that we should recall that a Jew should never be left alone.

A pivotal word regarding Yaakov is the word ach - brother. When he encounters some roughians by a well, he addresses them as achai – my brothers. Later, he repeatedly refers to Eisav as achi. At the end of the parsha we’re told that he views his sons as echav. Then they sit for a meal and included in the gathered achim are the soldiers of Eisav who had been sent to kill him. The root word comprised of the letters aleph and chet means to bind. The halachah is that at some point after tearing his garment a mourner is permitted to be me’acheh, to mend his garment, to bind it together.

Yaakov had a strong inclination and ability toward connecting with people. In life we should always strive to make others our ach. The root for the word acher - other – is ach. The root for the word Echad – one – is also ach. We do the best we can to relate to others, sometimes we remain more separate, sometimes more attached, but try we must.

The gid hanasheh commemorates the sad fact that Yaakov was not seen by his sons as an ach, and at that moment they erred by leaving him alone. Apparently they had not internalized their father’s model of striving for achdut. Perhaps Shimon and Levi do teshuvah in this area when they defend Dinah and this is why they are referred to as achei Dinah.(It seems that they take the idea to an extreme that causes Yaakov to disagree with their extreme actions in the name of achdut. This will not be explored further in this presentation, although it is deserving of consideration.)

(This is an adapdation of a talk given by Rav Dovid Miller.)

Falling Up - VaYishlach

2011-12-09T13:59:00.001-05:00

By Rabbi Neil Fleischmann

Yaakov Avinu seems to always have people around him, a life filled with family, with one stark exception. In anticipation of re-meeting Eisav he prepares for battle, for a typical, physical war. Yaakov divides his camp strategically and advises them on how to deal with Eisav. He helps the fifteen members of his nuclear family cross the stream of Yabbok. Then, suddenly, briefly – though it probably feels like forever - Ya'akov finds himself unusually alone. “Vayivater Ya’akov levado – and Ya’akov was left alone (Breishit 32:25).” Then he is confronted by an unexpected enemy of a unworldly sort. There is no explicit documentation of his preparation for his spiritual battle. Ya'akov's life up until this moment was his preparation. There was no cramming for this exam.
h
Rabbi Yosef Blau sees this story as reflective of all of our lives. The major battles are spiritual and our sole preparation for the fights that count is the way we live the episodes of our lives up to the moment when we are tested. These conflicts are amorphous. When they arrive is unannounced and unknown. The physical challenges that we think we must prepare for, often never come. When the unexpected confrontations occur the people who usually travel with and support us can suddenly be absent from our surroundings . We can fight dark forces and win, but like Ya'akov we may come out limping. We can survive and thrive and, like Yaakov, in the end gain a new identity, sanctified through our spiritual victories. It is to our advantage to view these hurdles in a positive light.
l
Shlomo HaMelech wrote "Sheva Yipol Tzaddik Vekam" - "A tzaddik falls seven times, and rises" (Mishlei 24:16). We all fall. A tzaddik moves on even with his many falls. Rav Yitzchak Hutner explains that rather than being a tzaddik despite falling down, a tzaddik is a tzaddik because of the times he falls and rises. In a letter to a student experiencing hard times, Rav Hutner developed the idea that achieving greatness is a process of overcoming and moving on. He explained that while we imagine righteous people being born righteous, it is more likely that they struggled to become great.
'
"Ma'ayan nirpas u'makor mashchat: tzaddik mat lifnei rasha"-"A righteous man falling down before the wicked: like a muddled fountain, a polluted spring" (Mishlei 28:26). Rabeinu Bachai cites this pasuk as ancillary to "Sheva Yipol Tzadik Vekam". A tzadik stumbles through encounters with reshaim. Just as a sullied spring re-invigorates and returns to its previous purity, a tzaddik collapses into the hands of a rasha but soon regains his glory. Rabeinu Bachai offers these lines from Mishlei as an introduction to Parshat VaYishlach. Yaakov was temporarily humbled before Eisav; he showered his brother with gifts and addressed him as master. In the end, Ya'akov departed unscathed from his encounter with Eisav. The Sfat Emet notes that Ya'akov bowed before Eisav seven times (Breishit 33:3), an allusion to "Sheva Yipol Tzaddik Vekam". Using Rav Hutner's sense of the pasuk this can be understood to mean that Ya'akov not only fell and rose before Eisav, but his falling was part of the rising. This can be applied to the seemingly myriad rough times Ya'akov went through.
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The physical altercation with Eisav which never happens takes the form instead of a spiritual fight. The wrestling match which precedes Yaakov’s meeting with Eisav tells us what it, along all of Yaakov’s other hardships, was really all about. In Ya'akov's lifetime as in seasonal cycles, fall foreshadowed spring. In the lives of individual Jewish people as in the life of the Jewish People as a whole, we fall to rise again. The road to geula is galus, as our private exiles are paths to personal redemption. May we soon merit seeing redemption for ourselves, our families, Klal Yisrael, and the world.

Shabbat Shalom!

Truth Haiku

2011-12-07T23:31:00.004-05:00

More than attention

Positive words do something

Truly ease tension

Trying Haiku

2011-12-07T21:12:00.002-05:00

Trying does exist

Yoda was wrong about this

Trying is trying

A Haiku Response For Ira

2011-12-07T20:53:00.004-05:00

One pencil writing

Makes a mysterious case

For eternity

A How Are You Haiku

2011-12-07T20:50:00.000-05:00

In one of my classes - by their request - I put a Haiku of the Day up on the board daily before class starts. Today I was out sick. We have a test tomorrow. This email haiku is sweet and kind:

How are you feeling?

I missed your haiku today.

Is the test still on?

Haiku: For Kishke, Whenever I May Find Him

2011-12-07T20:20:00.000-05:00

Our souls pine for G-d

In the hunger is feeding

Inside hearts beating

An Early Afternoon Poem/Prayer

2011-12-06T12:13:00.004-05:00

Judgement, judgement everywhere,

if not in words then with a stare.

Judging others is a way to hide

from being aware of our truth inside.

Rules, laws, and customs galore,

but what is there purpose, what are they for?

The Torah was given to purify man,

so much we know of G-d's master plan.

It belittles us when we make religion small,

like just another text or telephone call.

G-d please bless us to be real and to grow,

to navigate our soul's through life's turbulent flow.

A Quick, Short Post

2011-12-06T10:28:00.004-05:00

Yesterday: 6 classes, 3 Torah Guidance sessions, improv club after school, visit to friend in hospital. Today: A test, review for a test, and and and. Later a visit to a doctor I had a good experience with last year.

"Happiness is not a happening" - Rav Noach Weinberg

I'm on page 56 of Aharon Applefeld's For Every Sin (Al Kol Pesha). I've been reading it for a while. Every word counts, so it goes slow, though it's riveting. It's kind of like a play because there's a lot of dialogue. And it reminds me a bit of The Little Prince because it's a surreal story of a man walking and meeting many characters along his way.

Still More Haiku

2011-12-05T20:22:00.001-05:00

If you have a soul

You have reason to rejoice

That is happiness

Haiku Again

2011-12-05T20:21:00.000-05:00

Always hurt, they hurt

Watch out for the insecure

Dangerously off

Haiku

2011-12-05T10:20:00.000-05:00

Moments come and go

and yet there is only now

There is only now

Good Vuch World

2011-12-03T18:24:00.003-05:00

I am on. In the middle of my take on being scholar in residence. I'm in my host rabbi's home. He's on his iPad. I'm on the PC. His rebbetzin is shuttling some of their kids. He'll be off to parent teacher learning in a few minutes.

I am grateful to G-d that I was invited to be scholar in residence at The Etz Chaim congregation. I spoke for about an hour about Humor in Judaism ("A Laughing Matter?") at the oneg last night. Today's drasha was "Five Ways to Ruin A Joke (and other reflections of a rabbi/comedian)." And the Shalosh Seudos shmooze was "Happiness: A Serious Topic For A Talk."

In a short while I will be performing two sets of stand up. Before and after the routines there will be sales of my book and signing, along with the same for three other authors. I need to go and plan out the routines. Thank G-d for time before shows. The week was so hectic that I didn't have much breathing space. I'm glad to have an opportunity now to prepare in a somewhat chilled way.

The following is an edit of thoughts I composed on Thursday but didn't post till now.

The student who'd lost her wallet on Wednesday morning found it later in the day. It was in a pocket of her knapsack that she never uses but used this once. It could happen to anyone. And this type of thing does happen to everyone. I very much appreciated that she came back to me to let me know that she found it, such a thoughtful thing to do.

With my va'ad class yesterday (if you're curious what a va'ad class is all you have to do is ask) we were discussing losing things. One student had a story about how she doesn't usually wear rings but her mother got her this beautiful ring and she wore it (and it happened to have been expensive) and one day she couldn't find it. She was so worried that her mother would be mad at her that she told everyone in her family not to tell her mother she'd lost it. It turned out that her mother had it, mom had seen it and picked it up and didn't think it was a big deal and just said, "Oh, here's your ring." This reminded me of the time a couple of years ago that one of my colleagues misplaced her diamond wedding ring and was understandably anxious. She'd put it down when she washed and then it wasn't there. I helped her look all around, and tried to help her stay calm. In the end, a couple of hours later, someone gave it to her after explaining that he saw it and picked it up for safekeeping. This reminded another student of the time that her mom wrapped her ring in a napkin and then it got thrown out and her dad relentlessly searched through all the garbage and found it. May we all be blessed to stay calm in the wake of the frustrations connected to losing and finding or not finding that is endemic to life.

Vayeitzei and The Theme of Stones - Part II

2011-12-01T10:59:00.005-05:00

Rabbi Dovid Miller also points out the theme of evehn - stone - in Vayeitzei and it continuing into Vayishlach when Yaakov made the matzeivah from an evehn and it is mentioned again in his brachah for Yosef. The word evehn appears for the first time in the Torah in connection with Yaakov and it comes in "with a fury."

Avraham's focus was on influencing people - chesed. Yitzchak was about depth, as represented by his digging of wells. This theme recurs for him. This represents inner directed correction - gevurah. The stone is the basic building block of the world. Yaakov was about tikkun olam. TheMedrash Rabbah says that because Yaakov was called evehn Yisrael we merited getting the Torah, written on an evehn. He's about Torah. Kedosheinu Kedosh Yaakov. He's about elevating the world.

Perhaps Yitzchak wanted to give the physical brachot to Eisav because Yaakov was spiritually inclined. What Rivkah got was that Yaakov was about elevating the physical into the spiritual and holy.

This explains his dream. The ladder, via Nefesh haChayim, points out, represents man's soul which connects two worlds. Man also elevates the world; that's the concept of evehn Yisrael. Thus Yaakov was able to keep the Torah under Lavan, as that was his specialty, elevating even the most physical.

Rabbi Israel Miller said that G-d told Yaakov to leave Charan when he started having physically oriented dreams about sheep.

Mesilat Yesharim says that once a person rules over himself then he can elevate the world. This is Yaakov, as represented by the stones of Yaakov and the way they united to be used for holy service.

All This And Haiku Too

2011-11-30T10:30:00.004-05:00

I am teaching in twenty minutes and am allowing myself ten to breathe out and blog.

On Monday night a student texted me to ask if we could learn on Tuesday in memory of his grandfather, Rabbi Phillip S. Krohn. We learned two consecutive, related miishnayot: one tells us that this world is a preparation place for the next world, the following mishnah tells us that in different ways each world is better than the other.

A few minutes ago a stressed student told me that following our talk on Monday her teacher agreed to make an accommodation for her as long as I email the teacher that I feel it's the right move. Good news. Another student proudly told me that following our talk yesterday he has started to wear tzitzit. The bad news is that he finds them itchy.

Someone came in a moment or two ago to vent about not being able to find her wallet. I know first hand the pain of having lost something. She's looked in all the obvious places and is understandably upset.

One of the maintenance men, a lovely fellow named Jocelyn, just peeked into my new office and we had a nice chat. His soldier son is presently in Colorado and he seems a bit less worried about his son than at other points of these past years when he was on the front lines in dangerous war zones.

Don't tell the others

I'm happy to go to work

Keep it between us

Vayeitzei - Theme of Stones

2011-11-30T06:45:00.001-05:00

Shprintza Herskovits (from whose sefer Rays of the Sun, the following piece is adapted) says there's a theme of stones. She introduces her essay with the idea of asking people what association they come up with when you mention stones. She suggests that there are two camps: Some people will thinks of the stones that break your bones, slung since the beginning of mankind. Others will think of rock solid structures, words written in stone, diamonds that are forever.

Yaakov sleeps on stones, then has a dream. When he wakes up he declares that he is in a place where G-d is. He makes the stone he slept on an altar and declares that if G-d stays with him the stone will become a pillar in the House of G-d. A scene that follows features a well covered with a stone so heavy that a crowd of shepherds must gather and together remove it. Yaakov, after seeing Rochel, removes the stone himself. Upon leaving Lavan's house Yaakov suggests that he and Lavan make a brit/covenant; the sign of the pact that he chooses is a stone.

You may remember the midrash that says that Yaakov takes many stones to sleep on and that they fought over who should have the prestige of having Yaakov rest on them. G-d's solution was to turn the many stones into one. This story is about fragmentation turning into unity. Perhaps Yaakov doesn’t comment on the merging of the rocks because he took it as a something that fit with the dream that he had just awakened from. Or, he doesn’t much notice that the change of the stones because this place was now equated with a place of G-d and oneness. This fits with the fact that Yaakov builds a matzeivah type of altar, which is from one stone, in contrast to the more common mizbeach, of several stones.

The Rashbam suggests that the reason why the shepherds had the well covered with one giant stone was because they mistrusted each other. This set up meant that they could only remove the rock all together. The stone thus represents the disunity that existed between them and also the unity that they needed to compromise upon as the only was for any of them to get water from the well. On the other hand Yaakov was overwhelmed by a sense of connection upon seeing Rachel. This feeling that he'd met his soul mate gave him the strength to lift the stone alone, and urge to remove something that was in place only due to disunity.

When Yaakov sees Rachel he cries. He has just been moved by a sense of oneness with his wife to be. And yet he cries out of the angst ridden existential realization that they would be together in life, separated by death.

The pact between Yaakov and Lavan over a stone represents that whether or not they could stay together depended on whether they could connect or not. If disparity between them was inevitable then perhaps it was best they go their separate ways.

Like so many things in life, stones can be positive or negative. They are not intrinsically bad or good, they can be used constructively or destructively by people. A lesson to be learned from the theme of stones in Parshat Vayeitzei.

Solved

2011-11-29T20:04:00.002-05:00

By Neil Fleischmann

The problem with a Spanish soap opera

- I realize while glimpsing an American soap opera -

is not that it's in Spanish, but that it's a soap opera

The problem with people from other countries

who barely know English and often come across as off

is not that they don't know English, but that they're off

My problem of understanding you

as you dismiss me with

"It's not you it's me," is you.

At The End of the First Quarter

2011-11-28T11:09:00.003-05:00

Busy day. I said to myself, and to others, that any non-teaching periods could not be use to meet with people, this one day, because I had to focus on finishing grades. And yet. A student was having an issue and her guidance counselor was out and she asked to please speak to me. Of course.

In classes we did the Netziv about how screaming without words can be prayer as we see from the end of Perek Bet of Shmot. We also did different opinions (did I blog this already?) about why the Jews cried out when the evil king died. Rashi - He had tzara'at, which is compared to death, and he bathed in blood of Jewish babies. Ramban - The new king was worse than the previous one. Sarna - It was normal for a new king to grand amnesty to slaves/prisoners, but this did not happen.

Miles to go before I go home.

...Everyone

2011-11-27T15:11:00.003-05:00

Dear Blog,

How are you? I hope you are well. Please forgive my lateness in wishing you (us) a happy anniversary. I am sorry that I'm writing this late. The funny (not ha-ha) thing is that I was anticipating the day. And yet. When it arrived I was caught up in other things. And then the day departed. And I didn't re-remember until now.

Can you believe it's been seven years? I just reread our first post. I once shared here that I sometimes wrote divrei Torah, not revealing personal stuff. Mirty commented that divrei Torah can be revelatory too. It's true; I see in reading that piece that it's more personal than I realized. That essay preceded the blog, back when email was big I used to send out a weekly parsha piece. It was a mixture; there's a lot of me and my blogging style in that first post.

I am writing you this letter in pieces, because I don't know what to say. I keep thinking that if I come back to it I'll find the right words and the perfect time. Instead I find some time and some words. G-d is perfect, all others need just try try again.

As I write this paragraph it is 2:27 PM on Sunday November 27, 2011. I just walked through my threshold, into my home. I had door to door to door service from a loving (I meant to write lovely, but let's let the Freudian slip reign) couple I just met. Shabbos was nice. Beach-house that I've been writing about here since almost the start. I wrote the poem, "Could I Go On and On?" included in this post very early in the morning while watching a far away sailboat. I forgot that I cited it in my post for our fourth anniversary.

I am tempted to cite posts from the past. I've put a lot in here. There are books in here. There is me in here. If anyone can afford to, and is inclined to back me up financially for future books with pleasure (parsha, poetry, memoir, humor in Judaism, and many more) I'm not ashamed to ask; I'm asking. I've asked before and been asked back, "Doesn't that cost a lot of money?" (I know it wasn't a yes.) My first book was financed by me. It cost a few thousand dollars, but was truly invaluable. I dreamed I'd have a book in the world. I can now point to the moment in February 2011 when my dream came true. I have enough haiku for a second volume of a haiku book. I also have enough in long form and that will cost more as it will need to be bigger. I didn't expect to start talking about practical plans and the money involved in putting out more books. Dear blog, as much as you mean to me, I think we can take this writing relationship to a higher level. Just today I had the thrill of gifting someone with my book. She flipped through it and showed me one that really touched her. Lots of people do that. And their favorites vary widely. What a joy! I'm selling the book now for five dollars and giving it to anyone that considers it something that they'd like to have and to read. It's available on the main strip in Teaneck at The Teaneck General Store. Also, it's available for a high price at lulu.com (profits go to lulu).

The poems keep flowing. I wrote some today.

I feel like there's so much to say. And yet. I have so many memories connected to here.

I think I want to close this letter. I may still reminisce more in another post. Or I may just try to spend more time with you in the future.

I hope people read and visit here and at Cousin Parshapost.

I am a writer

The ocean is my witness

The rocks are my reeds

Only the ocean

gives a piece of the answers

flowing in the waves

Happy seven year anniversary dear blog. And happy anniversary dear blog readers. May G-d bless us all...

Be Well (as one of mom's "sisters" told me she used to sign off),

Neil

Sitting On a Jetty As the Waves Crash Around Me and the Sun Crouches.

2011-11-26T18:26:00.005-05:00

Only water flows into my kishkas this way. The water, oh the water.

Can anything compare to the explosion of a splash against a rock? I think not. I can't stop thinking. Sitting by the water. Oh the water.

Every drop a wave. Every wave a current. Every current an ocean crashing into me.

"And, and, and, and, and," the water says to me, moving in and out, uncatchable, unavoidable, unbelievable in her grace."

Now never feels as tangible as it does at water's edge.

Come redemption, wash over us. Don't ebb away; wash over us. Purify us "sooner than immediately" (as someone recently emailed me regarding the time frame for which he needed me to help him meet his perceived needs).

In this place I feel good.

There is no tension at the end of the ocean.

You should be here with me.

Pieces of Yesterday

2011-11-22T06:48:00.002-05:00

As today is about to start I still hold pieces of yesterday. It was a teaching day that rated about 98, poo poo poo. 6 classes. 3 Torah Guidance sessions. A test that made kids know material while allowing them a good chance to succeed. A discussion about Moshe as an adopted person and opinions about a paper on an article (which I hope to share notes on soon) that was handed in and evoked passionate responses. A class inspired haiku. A good hour of improv club at the end of the day (5:30-6:30, and then catching bus number one of two just on time as he stopped at a red light and I knocked on his door).

One beautiful moment I wish to share before it fades away, or worse - gets overshadowed by toxic shtus:

The king of Egypt dies. The people cry out to G-d. Why do they cry now? One could argue that things would get better and there was no reason to cry. Before I shared Rashi's answer and other approaches, Daniel offered his own idea. He said that they cried now because while the Egyptians were crying for the death of Pharoh, they could cry over their suffering and it would go unnoticed. (This reminded me of how when I lost my mother I didn't want to cry all the time, so sometimes it worked out well when I was surrounded by people crying for an acceptable contextual reason and I could cry for mom, and not stand out).

Dafna challenged Daniel: Why couldn't they just cry because they were suffering slaves, why - according to Daniel - did they need to cover up their tears? Talia answered on Daniel's behalf, suggesting that if the Jews cried openly then the Egyptians would have beaten them more. This is the way of bullies. Elizabeth suggested that crying due to their oppression would give the Egyptians satisfaction and that's why they did not cry. My thought was that human dignity is something which we always wish to maintain. Even in an a situation, in which it is understandable that we cry, we are uncomfortable with having mascara running down our face - due to our basic need for human dignity.

Haiku

2011-11-21T23:59:00.001-05:00

good, bad, or so-so

taste is bitter as our tongue;

in our fingertips

haiku

2011-11-21T22:26:00.001-05:00

all but forgotten

poetry is an orphan

all but forgotten

haiku

2011-11-21T22:15:00.003-05:00

even a servant

tries to hold her dignity

hides away her tears

Haiku

2011-11-21T14:20:00.001-05:00

I hope to recall
This moment slipping away
This very sweet day

Haiku of the Morning

2011-11-20T10:54:00.002-05:00

Time is always short
and yet there is always room
for one more haiku

Seven Years, Now

2011-11-19T22:57:00.007-05:00

5:58 PM

Saturday Night: Eleven Forty-Five PM

Self absorbed Vin Scelsa keeps talking

I tread the net and stop at Mimaamakim

"Idiot’s Delight" almost done I’ll need

distraction other than WFUV, because

"Group Harmony Review" isn’t my thing

So I visit this old friend of a poetry site

While Elton sings he hopes I don’t mind

And I write like a Billy Collins wannabe

Filled from contentment of Shabbos rest

I am disappointed my latest isn’t posted

And Alejandro Escovedo sings of hands

As I notice eight mortgage ads posted in

spaces that should have held my poetry

and Vin riffs of TV and a random FCC

as I prepare to post these unsaved words

my way of calling G-d out of my depths

Don't be confused by the title of the poem. I am starting this post in the early evening; who knows when it will end? (Good chance we'll call it 11:59 PM, my code for "later than I care to admit"). That poem was written and posted 7 years ago on Saturday night, November 20, 2004, in the first post ever of this blog. Yes, it's seven years. A wow and a sigh.

I woke up Monday with a burning in my throat and phlegm that it would be wise not to describe or even mention here (oops). Tuesday I went to the doctor. I told him that my throat was feeling better and that that scared me because it was too quick and past experience had told me that that meant that the infection had moved to my ear. He disagreed and gave me a weaker end antibiotic...

9:04 PM

I just had a great visit from a dear friend. We sat and ate and talked on a deep level, nothing like it.

Over Shabbos I kept thinking of things to write about; the book I'm reading - Holy Beggars: A Journey From Haight Street to Jerusalem, how - even though it set records for heat - the summer felt cold to me - due mainly to my broken ankle that's still - hopefully - healing, the nice dvar Torah I heard from Rabbi Dovid Miller at Shalosh Seudos (about the deep connection between marriage and the acquisition of Israel and the reason why such a big deal is made about the acquisition of the land being because the connection to the land is so holy and deep), the dvar Torah that the rabbi sitting next to me at Shalosh Seudos told me (he's speaking right around now at an event about teen issues and will be telling a story from the Gemorah in Chulin about a man who visits a town and is accused of all kinds of things - eating treif, stealing, and more - and proves himself innocent of all charges, then right after his case a kid is found guilty of doing wrong things and he proves that they are incorrectly putting the kid up on charges even though the kid did wrong things - the way my friend explained this Gemorah, the man was telling the people that their children were suffering because rather than raising their kids properly the town people were too busy judging and accusing everyone), My Dyslexia, my Chumash term paper, an addition to the thread I started on Friday about the power of remembering good things about people and telling them so (I recently told a visiting graduate how highly I thought of her midot and how in particular I recall her poise and maturity when she, as a sophomore, made a shiva visit to me), so many things I could write about...

10:13 PM

I want to wind down here. My friend who visited, for some reason was struck by and remembers this post, particularly the lines, "In some ways the page remains blank, the writer isolated. And yet, the poem is written, is now outside, here for you to see." Those lines later became this haiku, which my friend was sure I'd put in my book, but I didn't. Maybe for the next one, which I hope to put out soon.

The page remains blank

The writer isolated

and yet you read

On Thursday I met with a very bright student for Torah Guidance (I wouldn't be surprised if she was valedictorian or salutatorian). She is a believer and yet she was wondering about free will. We made a deal that before we meet next we will each read an article new to us on the topic and then discuss it further.

Some big questions don't so much bother me

like are we or are we not completely free?

More than free will, I wonder about Free Willy

Much as that might come across as silly

Although it's a picture I never got to see

I know Ebert called it one of the best of '93

Don't ask me what I'm talking about

All I know is there's no reason to shout

Being loud doesn't make you more right

In my mind it puts me in the mode of fear and flight

I guess I should wonder if I have free will

I was angst filled once - now my soul sits more still

At least when it comes to broad philosophy

The things I'm more curious about have to do with me

In my gut I take responsibility for my life

Despite what I was recently told on a date by a potential wife

She said that being single was a total act of G-d

I found her conviction on the topic a bit odd

Especially considering it was a first date

An unusual context for discussing fate

The discussion turned high pitched and intense

She kept insisting my position made no sense

I still think we have to own our life

We can't blame G-d for all of our strife

I see it as a combination platter

G-d and me, in my life we both matter

Take now for example, time for bed

and yet I'm at the computer instead

Is G-d forcing me to write these lines?

Or is it a choice which I need to own as mine

This is getting a bit too deep

You're right if you guessed I'm heading toward sleep

Bye Bye Week

2011-11-18T16:05:00.004-05:00

I was doing Torah Guidance the other day with two students, discussing identity. They gave one of their friends as an example of someone who has the strength to be honest, be her own person, do the right thing, and not be pressured by others. At lunch today I bumped into said friend and passed on that friends of hers had high praise for her. She shined like the sun and went to tell other friends how sweet and kind those friends were. I walked out of lunch and bumped into our computer specialist. I told him that I was recently talking with a student and she said that her family is so fond of him and so appreciative of the work he's done for them on their computers. He was thrilled to hear it.

This poem by Emily Dickinson comes to mind:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

I was talking this afternoon Torah with 3 boys who had a free period and chose to use it for Torah Guidance. One of them was chock full of medrashim and wanted to understand some of them better. He asked what he was to make of the medrash, which says that Og hung on to the ark and lived many years beyond the flood. I told him that Chazal will often consolidate matters and say that an unnamed character is really someone we already heard of. The students all together chimed in that this is called the principle of the conservation of biblical characters. One of them said that an example of this is saying that Shifra and Puah were Yocheved and Miraiam. Another student - a super masmid and our resident Lubavitcher said that in the case of Shifra and Puah it is total pshat and not simply this principle at play. He says he can prove it. I look forward.

I look forward to Shabbos and I breathe out the week. Shabbos is approaching. I wish a wonderful Shabbos to the world. G-d knows we need it.